…for war was not just a military campaign but also a parable. There were lessons of camaraderie and beauty and inscrutable fate. There were lessons of honor and courage; of compassion and sacrifice. And then there was the saddest lesson to be learned again and again. That war is corrupting. That it corrodes the soul and tarnishes the spirit. That even the excellent and the superior can be defiled. That no heart can remain unstained…

Obama reads this quote, and responds by pointing Bob to his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy. The soldiers courage and sacrifice is full of glory, expressing dedication to county, to a cause, to comrades in arms. But war itself is never glorious, and we must never trumpet it as such. So part of our challenge is reconciling these two seemingly irreconcilable truths.

That war is sometimes necessary.
And that war in some level is an expression of human falling.

War used to be such an dominant part of my reality. But now feels so distant. I’m not wishing for the stress, worry and fear that came along with that. What I am worried about is living in a country where there’s such a lack of concern and connection to where its own soldiers are fighting, or to the major fronts that see daily battles. From reading this book, I’m invigorated by Obama’s seeming concern to gather as much information as possible in order to make the best decision about the continuation of these wars. I see little hope in finding a policy that will not cost the US military many years and high involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq. To make things right, they must work with local communities, build trust and a solid social infrastructure, using counter insurgency techniques. However, with the general public so disengaged, how the heck are they going to pull it off?

Within a fortnight, Eden Abergil becomes an Israeli public figure, stamped on news articles slashing one of Israeli IDF core principles, its moral values, and Israeli society as a whole. All because a single, insignificant girl’s actions; a girl who has no connection whatsoever to the army anymore. Domestic and international news agencies turn against her. The IDF condemns her actions and releases her from reserve service. Yet Eden still does not really grasp why here photos are perceived as problematic. In a recent interview, when asked if she understands the world’s anger about the photos, Eden answers: “of course I understand! The whole world is against us. Its not a secret that the world hates us (Israelis)”. It was her army service, the photos were her souvenir which she posted on her supposedly private Facebook page, and had “private” conversations with her friends. She did not physically harm the prisoners. On the contrary, she claims that she fed and gave them water. “I don’t understand what all the fuss is about!” – she exclaims.

But the powerful fact still holds. With a tiny click of the mouse, by uploading these photos, Eden provided the world with ammunition against one of the most powerful armies in the world: a way to attack the IDF’s *prized* moral values. Compulsory service means that every Israeli is connected to the army – siblings, parents and friends. It is an integral part of Israeli society, making it difficult for one to criticize its actions. When you criticize the IDF, you’re criticizing your brother who might be serving, your father who is in reserves, and your friend’s family, whose son was killed in one of the many dangerous oprations in Gaza. The story of Eden Abergil hit one of Israel’s most sensitive spots – the IDF’s moral values. During the Lebanon and Gaza wars, as well as the Flotilla attacks, Israeli “hasbara” consistently uses the IDF values as its main defense reasoning. IDF soldier’s intent is to target militants and terrorists NOT civilians. IDF soldiers act to protect Israeli civilians, they react when attacked. Their values are aligned with what the western world would expect a truly valiant army.

The repercussions of Eden Abergil’s actions are a country’s worst nightmare, and a byproduct of the difficulties Facebook users have grasping issues of privacy on Facebook. When looking at Eden’s photos it is hard not to jump to conclusions and judge the IDF as a whole. “Finally the true face of the IDF has been revealed” – “see how they ruthlessly treat Palestinian prisoners”. But as we all know, the truth tends to be much more complex and multi-faceted. Yes, there are countless cases of detainee mistreatment by IDF soldiers. Hundreds of Palestinians are held without any legal justification. However in Eden’s case, there was none of that.

From blogs to mainstream media, Israelis disgusted by the sheer stupidity of this girl’s actions, horrified by the fact that within a day, Eden Abergil turned from being a nobody retired soldier chatting about shopping, parties and boys with her friends, to a world-wide symbol of “vicious Israeli occupation”; the face of the IDF, affecting people’s perception of Israel around the world.

The harm that Eden’s photos did to the image of the IDF will take a long time to heal, if ever. However, the damage done to her personal image will never be erased. Eden is mocked and publically slandered by media outlets as well as Isarelis across the country. The following youtube skit marks her as an “Arsit” (a.k.a. ‘white trash’) while numerous Internet memes have unfolded with her photo and name plastered all across. Eden will always be rememberd as that stupid girl who posted abnoxious photos on her Facebook account. She will have a hard time finding a job, and will always be the poster case for “people doing stupid things online”. Her micro-celebrity status will most likely drive her insane or to the extreme edge of society. When the waters settle, she will be forgotten.

But never forgiven.

im in ur army, corruptin ur valuez

This recently posted video of Israeli soldiers dancing to the beat of Ke$ha’s “tick tock” in the middle of their patrol in the West Bank is a great example of the clash of context. The video went viral extremely fast, as many Israelis re-posted and proudly emailed the link, naively thinking that “the world will finally see that our soldiers are humans who also like to have a little fun”. They could not have imagined just how offended people across the world would be from watching the video. Slogans like “It’s easy to laugh at the occupation when you’re the oppressor” were posted in response, causing lots of frustration and confusion all around.

Intentions were good, but were lost in translation.

Ethan Zuckerman has been writing about xenophilia and culture bridging for a while. He points at people’s tendency towards homophily (’birds of a feather flock together’) and sees this as a fundamental challenge, since with the web, we’re more able than ever to find people that are like us. He stresses the importance for us to seek out and understand people different from us, especially as cultures clash on global web services become more common. Ethan defines xenophilia as people in the world who are genuinely fascinated by the breadth, complexity and difference of the world; “third culture kids”, people who were raised in one country, but are “from” another. Bridge bloggers are xenophiles who have the capacity to connect both sides of a story, because they themselves are associated with both sides.

In his recent blog post, Ethan looks at data released by peace.facebook.com, boasting how many daily connections are made between pairs of battling entities. According to the site, 15,747 connections between Israelis and Palestinians have been made over the last 24 hours on Facebook. I find this piece of data incredibly hard to believe (especially since the number doesn’t seem to change over the course of the week). Even if a reciprocal relationship equals 2 connections, I can’t imagine such a high number of connections forming on a daily basis. That said, 20% of Israeli population is Arab, many with roots and family in Gaza or the West Bank. This fact could certainly explain the data.

Their notion of “connections” makes me wonder if they account for Facebook fan pages. Successful fan pages tend to be politically charged, and polarize the users according to their political agenda rather than bring those with different views together. However, if Facebook’s data is counting Israeli Arabs as Israelis (as they should!), I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d accounted for multiple connections forming via these fan pages.

I am extremely doubtful that much bridging happens through direct Facebook “friending”, nor that it is represented by direct Facebook “friendships” between Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs. So where does it happen if at all?

In order to answer this question, we must discuss the notion of a “safe space”, which I consider crucial for bridging to happen. A safe space makes us feel comfortable, almost at home. Its an environment where we are supported and validated; a place where we are willing to lower our defenses.

I am a huge fan of Global Voices, but wouldn’t consider it as a safe space for Israelis. The majority of readership on the Middle East section tilts heavily towards Arab articles, comments and opinions. One might say that is totally fair since it is representative of actual world distribution of population. But the outcome is an imbalanced environment, which for an Israeli, feels unsafe; a place where they won’t be supported, nor will they be identified with. Why hang out where everyone’s picking on you when you can easily go play with fun friends elsewhere? For the most part,like the Guardian or Al-Jazeera, Global Voices is not perceived as a safe space.

However I believe that Facebook creates new opportunities for safe spaces to form, especially as they are based on people’s familiarity with each other.

Facebook received massive adoption in Israel, easily taking over any other Social network or service. Israel is a tiny place, and people are inherently social – making Facebook a perfect place to interact with the “hevre” (Hebrew for ‘gang’ – also the name of one of the earliest Social Networks that saw light in Israel). Facebook is a place where my friends from Israel feel extremely comfortable. Even when someone lands on my profile page, there are always other friends a mere click away, in the periphery. One is never alone, in any given context.

The Flotilla incident triggered something I hadn’t seen before. Friends from different contexts don’t tend to communicate with each other, even when reacting to the same post. The flotilla events changed this.

When dealing with such a complex topic that has no clear “right” or “wrong”, I witnessed multiple “cross boundary” conversations happening on my own Facebook page, and also amongst my Israeli friends who are also living abroad. Our pages served as bridges, or safe havens, where contacts from “opposing sides” could have a conversation.

It would go something like this – (1) Facebook page owner posts link to article (2) Israeli friend/relative responds with a pro-Israeli message (3) European friend responds to that with a counter opinion (4) Another Israeli friend responds (5) another foreign friend supports #3 (6) profile owner mediates…

…you get the drift.

The interesting part here is that even if there are no direct links between those in Israel, and those with opposing perspectives wherever they were, a conversation could take place because of the personalized nature of Facebook. Because it felt safer to do it there, on a shared friend’s page. Much safer than on Global Voices, or other international news websites.

The more Facebook grows, the more I see these kinds of exchanges happening. In his post, Ethan claims that “we overestimate how many of our online contacts cross borders and underestimate how often these tools are used to reinforce local friendships”. While I agree, I’d add that we shouldn’t only look at direct cross-border connections, but rather try to understand and estimate the value that Facebook serves as a safe space for bridging to occur. I’m not sure how we quantify the amount of cultural bridging that is not represented by FB connections. We could only do this by analyzing public discussions happening on profile pages, between profiles who are not friends on Facebook.

To conclude, Obama argues that we suffer from an “empathy deficit”, as quoted from a speech to college students:

“There’s a lot of talk in this country about the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit – the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes; to see the world through those who are different from us – the child who’s hungry, the laid-off steelworker, the immigrant woman cleaning your dorm room. As you go on in life, cultivating this quality of empathy will become harder, not easier.”

Placing yourself in someone else’s shoes is much easier when the store attendant is your close friend. Facebook as a platform has the potential to host these conversations; be the store. Safe space.

But we the users, have to make the conversations happen.